New Year’s Resolutions. Do They Make a Positive Difference? The Secrets of Success!!! (Part 1)

New Year  Eves always bring mixed feelings to me.On one hand it was the New Year’s Eve 1965 when my drunk father chased my mother and myself out of the house, half dressed. Those of you who read The Gypsy Saw Two lives know the details. But as the yin and yang of life, to compensate for the disaster of 1965, the following year I was allowed for the first time to go to a “real” party; without my family! A supervised, of course, teen party. It was then, on that New Year’s Eve that I met the young man who was to become my first husband and oh… yes, I shamelessly admit  I had my first kiss!!!. What that meant, to be more specific, on the lips and I liked it!

I shared these two events with you because they both changed my life and it was after the “happy” New Yer’s event that I decided to always make resolutions on January first of the particular year to follow. It was important to be in writing. Years letter I read in a scientific article that it  was proven that writing not just saying something is very important in a positive way. However, I am not writing this post to debate the positive elements of writing versus saying, but I hope you take my statement on faith and try, anyway:).

When my daughters were old enough to hold a pen, every January First we sat down and drew what each wanted to happen in the following year. It was a basic sample which later, minds smarter than mine, titled “vision boards.” Please don’t ask if my kids kept their promises and the resolutions made a positive impact in their lives. All I know for sure is that if you don’t know where you are going, how do you know when you arrived?

Thanks to the University of Scranton’s research (12/13/2013 these are the top ten New Year’s resolutions:

 1.  A real shocker, loose weight:)

2. Get organized.(no personal comment. I feel too guilty!)

3.. Spend less, save more (shamelessly, I have to admit the word “save” is foreign to me. After all, English is my second language. Strangely “save”is foreign to me in my native language, Romanian, too:) Hmm…

4. Enjoy life. (my personal comment: this is too vague, and I’d make it more specific, scientific or not:)

5. Stay Fit and Healthy (again, same personal comment as above, I’d be more specific)

6. Learn something exciting (same personal comment as above)

7. Quit smoking (I’d make it priority number one, but of course, I cananot prove it scientifically)

8. Help others (this, to me, should be a LIFE Long priority)

9. Fall in love (right, as if falling in love is “on order” like being in a diner and having your special dish… again, personal opinion, please trust the science)

10. Spend  more time with your family (personal comment :  if you don’t, you will not have a family)


and, according to the same source, here are the results, meaning how many people keep their resolutions:

45% of Americans make New Year’s resolutions and only 8% successfully achieve them.

49% have infrequent success (please don’t ask me what does this means exactly. To me, personally, is like eating broccoli once a year and expecting the results achieved by eating healthy year-around)

What really counts, is  the fact that people who made New Year’s resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain them than people who don’t make any!

A resolution I made when this blog started, in December of 2010, was to keep the posts short.

II respect the fact that most  of us live”lives in the fast lane,” so for that reason and also honestly because I know most of us would like 30-hour days, no nights or the negative consequences of not having sufficient sleep (all scientifically impossible), I am writing Part II  of this post, “Tips on How to Attain Your Resolution’s, on Proven Therapy’s Newsletter (

As you know, I am an online Counselor for this fine online counseling company (

Thank you all for reading my blog and for taking the time to make valuable comments from which  we,all, learn. 

I don’t know each of you, yet in my heat I do! 

Happy New 2014!!!!

A Bad Day and What We Could Learn From It!!!

In the mist of the positive thinking ONLY craze which invaded humanity to the point that we deny luck, fate and historical facts that support the existence of both, and stating from the beginning that I believe in luck and fate, however I also believe in trying to make the best of a bad situation. Humor and stepping out of your misery help too:)

Today is January 30. My  real estate taxes are not paid and tomorrow is the last day, actually half day!

I concluded to go to the tax office today and I am number 7 in line. After 45 minutes it was my turn!!! I got to the tax collector’s desk, personal check in hand, she says: ” Sorry, no personal checks, bank checks only, didn’t you READ on the door?” I begged her. I have a brace on my right wrist and she had mercy on me, just this ONE time. She tells me the amount. I almost faint! They reassessed the value of my house the tax is about $200 more than I expected.

Lessons I learned:  do not procrastinate and to do your chores in a timely manner, and open your mail, READ your bills, even the small print and what’s written on an office door, for Heaven’s sake!!!. 

Oh, but this was the beginning. Now, with the unexpected increase in the tax payment I had to drive 25 miles to my bank to deposit money. Yes, I am faithful to by bank and the nearest was 25 miles away! I programmed my GPS and here I sped on the highway. (within legal limits, of course)

Suddenly, my front  car hood pops up taken my front visibility completely. In other words, I saw RED, the color of my car! In such life and death situations one has to think quickly! I turned on my right signal and pulled on the side. I was alive!

I checked the hood and at first thought it was a simple matter of not securing the… you know what I mean, when I last put windshield liquid in. I tred to slam it hard, (I mean the hood) to show it who’s the boss, damn hood! Nothing, it did not respond. I look more carefully to discover the problem, which was much more serious and needed body work! Great, I was in the middle of the highway, and my checks were going to bounce if I didn’t make it on time! Dead or alive, who cared, my bills should not bounce!

Thank God, I am inventive and also a little off…I checked the back of my car and found my dog’s leash.

I found two solid anchors inside the hood and secured the hood with the dog leash!

Lesson I learned: Get a dog and keep his leash inside your car!

Okay, in 40 miles an hour, hazards on, I made it to the bank and deposited the checks. Now at least if I died on the way back home, there was enough for funeral expenses and taxes were paid!

At this moment of great lucidity I had to make a life or death decision. Was I going to venture back home with the hazards on and the hood secured by the dog leash, or do the sane thing and go to the nearest body shop!!!!!

I am not going to disclose my decision, but the lesson I recommend is, do the right thing by YOUR standards!

I’d appreciate if you would take a moment to share with us what would you have done under the circumstances??? Only please, if you disagree with what I have done, or a person that shares, do not call us names. I am sensitive and take it personally.

The last lesson: Don’t judge other, we don’t know their real motivation, so please be kind!


My next post will address New Year’s Resolutions. Do we really keep them? Why we do or don’t.


Adopt and Save a Life while Bringing Joy to Yours (Part II)

The beautiful boxer in the previous post is Duke. He is now around 5-6 years old. I adopted him in 2009 after he managed to be taken back to the foster five times. One would wonder, why five families gave back such a beauty? I wondered too and asked the foster who was so kind, she brought him to my house. She said, they kept losing him??? I was stunned!!! Oh, I thought, for sure they were negligent, I never lost a dog in my life!

Well, the first night I kept the lights on and sat next to Duke on the couch. I had treats handy, just in case. I didn’t trust him, he didn’t trust me. We stared at each other. If I sensed, true or not, that he became agitated I gave him a treat to keep him happy.  The overnight test worked! We determined we were friends and didn’t attack each other. We bonded, I thought. Next day, I  opened the front door and Duke dashed out with the speed of a gazelle! I dashed after him but soon I realized I could not keep the pace on foot and jumped in the car, driving slowly through the winding streets of Wyncote, PA. Some other animal lovers joined me and we found Duke, who thought this was a game., sort of hide-and-seek. He came to my car (tempted by a treat) jump inside, as nothing had happen. No sign of guilt!

Several other times escaped by jumping the fence, until I saw him in action, He was so strong, was crawling up any fence, no matter how high!  

Yes, we had a stormy beginning, which is not true  for all pets that one adopts or buys.

Now, Duke is the most loving and faithful companion. He is also the best guard dog and I could not imagine life without him. I often wonder what he went through in his first two years of life to make him always want to run away and mistrust new people. Being a Counselor, I wished I could read his mind, understand his prior wounds so I may heal them faster.

The truth is, I would never know, but love, time and patience workeds, Oh! And FOOD:)))

I have the best dog in the world, as I am sure yours is the best for YOU.

Adopt, save a life and bring joy to yours.

God bless all those who dedicate their lives and energy to helping those who do NOT have a voice. WE ARE THEIR VOICE!!! The more, the better!