Allergic? Tell Your Doctor. Paradoxical Disclaimers.

Warnings, disclaimers, paradoxical statements… 

One of my favorites is found on nearly all, if not all  the brochures accompanying medications we are prescribed.

The statement is:

Before using this medication, tell your doctor or pharmacist, if you are allergic to it.

Is it just me, or this statement is at best illogical?

How could people tell their health care professional they are allergic to a medication BEFORE taking it? Could it be that only “psychics” are spared their troubles if they have a serious allergy to a certain ingredient?

So, I asked myself, why the need to go as far as  having a statement implying that people have the ability to inform a doctor regarding their allergies to a medication BEFORE taking it?

The only explanation I came up with so far, was  fear of being accused or sued. In other words, we live in world so filled with allegations, we, as a society, would rather make written illogical statements to protect ourselves,  rather than take the chance of being dragged in endless legal battles.

I also wondered if such  statements  really protect anyone, assuming  a tragic event happened.

What are your thoughts?

If anyone has another logical, or even illogical explanation or comment, please share.  As always, your comments are valued.




Reaching Your Goals! Three Simple Rules!

Do you make goals?  Do you follow steps?  Are your goals realistic?  If so, what is your inner motivation for the goal you made? 

Let’s take an example many would relate to: loosing weight!

1. Internal goals

If we decide to loose weight  to please our partner, is that our internal goal, or rather an action we feel forced to take to please another? As a rule, lasting results occur when we do something for ourselves and not for someone else.

2. Take steps, not leaps

If the goal is to loose 50 pounds, make it a realistic goal by planning to only loose a couple pounds a week over a long period of time.  You will reach your goal slowly but surely and permanently.

3. Make a realistic goal

Make a  goal of becoming that which we could become.

We could be slimmer, healthier, have long  or short hair. We cannot be shorter or taller (without high heels) unless we photo shop.

In other words, before deciding on any goal, make sure it is realistic. If it’s not realistic, call it a dream, not a goal. Dreams are great too, as long as we know they are dreams and we understand a time would come when we would have to wake up and… make a goal.



Dating After You Turn 50!

Dating  in any age group could be a challenge.

Each age group seeks something else from a “potential” partner.

I don’t know about you, but when I was a teenager, and as ALL teenagers I saw myself  immortal and knew it all, I ignored all the advice given to me by those that “knew.” I eloped and got married! What were my needs at 18? Definitely sexual, as now, I know enough  about the role hormones  in our love decisions. Then, I thought it was “love.” Now I know it was “lust.”

When I turned 30 I was  already divorced from the first “love of my life.”

In a new environment, I started dating and also reading every statistic in Women’s Magazines which assured me once a woman turned 30 her chances of finding a partner went down drastically. Hmm… bad news, but against the statistical odds, I re-married and we had two beautiful daughters. What were my needs at that time? I definitely knew I didn’t know it all, I also had different goals, such as having children with a trustworthy partner. Was sex still playing a great role? You bet! That’s how kids are conceived.

Years went by, the children grew up, the second “love of my life,” died, and here I was again, single and in my fifties…

Hmm… did I think I knew it all? No. Were my hormones raging to the point of confusing lust with love? No. Did I want to get pregnant and raise more children? Oh… well that would have been a miracle. No miracle happened.

On the other hand, after a few years of being by myself, and enjoying the company of my parrot and three dogs, I did consider starting to date again. What was I looking for?

Someone with a sense of humor, trustworthy and like-minded. Such as what? To like travel, shows and sometimes going out or having friends over. Oh! And to love  children and dogs. Yes, this was a requirement, as I don’t trust people who don’t like children and animals. Call me prejudiced.

I thought  this was a reasonable “wishful list,” as I was prepared to reciprocate everything I sought in a potential companion. I knew a good  relationship is a two-way street and I only travel on this “type” of streets.

And… where was I going to find these  “potential” men? I don’t go to bars, I don’t go to a church of single people… Thank God for internet dating sites, right?

I was soon to find out that the age groups I attracted were either much younger, looking for a “mama,” or someone to pay their bills, men my age who who were used to have sex on a first date, possibly in the back of a car, if it was spacious enough, or men 30 years older then me, who were on the verge of investing in the diaper industry.

After serious consideration, I gave up  looking for a male companion.

Why? Perhaps because I have learned valuable life lessons and  in my fifties I looked for a soul connection, rather than a “must” have partner to satisfy the sexual needs I had at 18, or the need to have children, a status and a husband if we are 30 and still seeking that perfect partner.

My personal conclusion is that we are wiser and deeper after fifty.

We know not only what we need from another, but what we could realistically offer to a  committed companion. We don’t have the need to get married or have children. In this age group the main need is for companionship, meaning and soul connection. Well, sex is a constant, in all age groups, but it gains a different meaning as we grow wiser, just as good wines get better with age.

Is it worth it to be selective? Which would you rather be? Alone, or rather “single,” with your friends, hobbies and pets, or not alone but lonely with the wrong companion?

The choice is ours.



Motherhood… All Kinds Of Mothers. Does Motherhood Ever End?


How do you define motherhood and once a mother, does it ever end?

Before I became a mother, it was easy to explain the concept: A woman and a man made love and a child  resulted in the process. They raised the child and that was it! Simple!

I grew up in communist Romania and my mother’s greatest fear was that I would get pregnant as a teenager. There would have been nothing worst in her mind that me, still a child, to make the disastrous mistake to allow my hormones, as she put it, to cloud my “judgement.”  As a result, she “kept” my virginity intact by giving me pelvic exams after every date I had as a teenager. For years, I saw those horrific moments, when my privacy was invaded, as a sign of great love and concern. I still do, after all these years, even when I know the manifestation of her love was wrong and scarred me for life.

I really wanted to be a good girl, I didn’t want to disappoint and at eighteen, I secretly married my boyfriend.

The “secret marriage,” was a shock to everyone, but at least,  the pelvic  exams stopped. They were replaced by motherly advice on how not to get pregnant while being sexually active.

I continued to be a good girl and for the following 12 years, never got pregnant. I knew how to “protect myself,” and please my mother, who continued to tell me having kids would be a mistake. She was giving herself and her “wasted” life as an example. I was her only child… what was I doing on this Earth if I have not been welcomed, not even by my mother? A question I am still asking myself…

I never asked those questions at the time. In our “collectivist culture,” as I discovered much later, it was defined, families were close, parents respected and not discarded when one turned eighteen. Truth be told, the parents didn’t discard their children at eighteen either. The age had little to do with the idea that parenting ever stops.

Throughout my married life I continued to call her daily and visit her weekly. When she fell ill, I felt guilty if I didn’t visit her daily. When she died, I felt I lost my best friend. I still do.

However, somehow, her death freed me of the fear of becoming a mother myself.  What if being a mother was that unique experience which fulfills a woman? To experience first hand the miracle of life. ..

A few years later, in a different country, a different culture, which at the time I did not know it was called “individualistic,” I re-married and had two beautiful daughters.

The instincts of being a mother completely took over my life. I breathed, worked, ate, slept  and dreamed for my daughters’ benefits.

I wanted them to have it all. Everything which I didn’t, growing up in Romania: piano lessons, art lessons, gymnastics, dance,  best private schools. I changed professions, so that my children will not take the yellow school bus and I drove them to school daily. Oh, and the pets, which were denied to me in my childhood! MY children were going to have a zoo! And a zoo it was: dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish. Even a frog…

I thought I was doing it all right… I knew the saying children learn what they see. I even read in a book that a child associated the smell of alcohol with his mother’s good night kiss, and I stopped drinking, for fear my children would “like alcohol,” because it was associated with my breathe. I wanted their self-esteem to be great and purchased special tapes to boost their egos.

Years went by, they turned 18 and left. They left as far away as I could  have imagined… They no longer needed me!

I love my grown up daughters and miss them every day… It is heartbreaking for me to accept that for over twenty years they were the center of my life and now, that my “motherly duty” is over, they disappeared from my life forever! I am shattered inside and can’t manage to glue back together the broken pieces of my heart.

Once, when I was a child, I played with a type of insects called God’s caws. I put them in a jar and inside I put grass and food for them and observed them. After a while, I noticed tiny white eggs, which after a few days turned into larvas. What shocked me, was that the second the “babies” came to life, the parents died! At the time, that made me sad, but now, I think differently…

Perhaps it would be easier on a human mother’s soul to just die once her children no longer need her…

I envy those insects, for not having to make a choice. God made it for them!




Moving? Are you moving around the corner or in a different area? A different state? Out of the country?

If you are moving anywhere but around the corner, there are several things that need to be on your “Must check list,” before you make a commitment.

I am not thinking of the actual place where you move. Let’s say, it’s a house. We all know to check that the large, costly items are in good order: the roof, the heating system, the plumbing. We also check the real estate and school taxes, and if we have children, the reputation of the school district. Given the reality of life, as I have experienced it, I’d also suggest you check for the quality of your water supply.

This list is “in addition,” to what we check for routinely.

Even if you move in the same state but in different parts of the state, rates for auto, house and health insurance may vary significantly. Do yourself the favor to check before you move.

Also, check for the convenience of shopping, a good hospital, read the online Police blog for types of crimes in the area. I’d go as far as driving at night in an area which seems great during the day, but where action takes place at night.

This is a list of services we take for granted, but they are necessary for our daily lives. Call them convenience or necessity. The truth is, we all need them, sooner or later:

A good, reliable auto-repair shop.

A good hair stylist.

If you have pets, what are the local ordinances? How many cats or dogs are you allowed to have? What are the licensing rules? Are there good kennels in the area, or pet sitters?

If you belong to a place of worship now, check online the various possibilities in the new area.

You like to volunteer? Check the local organizations.

You belong to a support group? Check the availability of specific support groups in the new area.

Moving is considered among the  top ten most stressful activities. I hope this “to the point” list makes easier for you.


Homeless By Choice

Could homelessness give one the feeling of total freedom? Freedom from the clutter of material goods, social constraints and dogmas?

I never thought of homelessness from that perspective, until I met Anthony. He was seated at the entrance if a beautiful Florida beach making  shell bracelets and offering them for free. Of course donations were not rejected, but the simple fact that he was working at earning money in an honest way, made me stop.

He was a young, good looking man, who did not look homeless. What do I mean by it? He was clean, shaven and well spoken, as compared to two other  guys who were hanging around the area, and whose breathe smelled of alcohol at 10 am.

I stopped and leaned over the towel on which the shell bracelets were displayed. Anthony allowed me to choose my own design and made me a customized bracelet.

He told me about his life, how he decided to leave it all, and experience the homeless life, with its downs, but also its total freedom from constrains and responsibilities. He told me it was a phase, but at the moment he wouldn’t give this new found freedom for anything in the world. The freedom of sleeping on a beach and stare at the starry sky, while listening to the humming of the Ocean’s waves.

For the rest of my stay in Florida, I made it a habit to bring Anthony a snack on my way to the beach and water. When I noticed his eyes were red and infected because the wind was blowing sand into his eyes, I brought him an eye wash, and he felt better. I tried how would I feel if he were my son… but my imagination failed me.

I learned that to make the bracelets he spend hours on the beach, searching for shells with a hole, so he could string them. I took it on me to help and in the process of seeking for broken, shells with a hole, I learned that sometimes the broken is more valuable than the perfect. It was the reverse of what I have always done: pick only the “perfect shells,” while discarding the broken…

When the time came to say good bye, I couldn’t. I am selfish enough to want to keep the image of Anthony’s smile and his shell bracelets intact, in my mind’s eyes, rather than being spoiled by good bye tears.

Thank you Anthony for helping me discover a different perspective on homelessness and the value of things.







A2X For Anxiety… Buyer Beaware!!! Same 14-DAY RISK FREE TRIAL

The Advertisement for A2X, doesn’t even look like an advertisement, but more like a well informed scientific article, entitled, ” Surprising Results in New Anxiety Study.”

Anti-Anxiety! A natural amazing product as effective as antianxiety medications but without the bad side effects. Wow!!!

The first bell goes on, when the article states: “This new research says you don’t have to change your body’s chemistry and open yourself up to harmful side effects or even addiction…”

Really? I am thinking of the dangerous effects of stopping such medications “cold turkey.”  That was the moment when I decided to look at this in depth, as I felt lives could be in danger by following the advice on this site.

I continued to read. I noticed entire sentences which if not read carefully could have been misleading for the readers.

For instance: “New England Researchers agree that it is not your fault…???” Who are the researchers? How and when did they conclude? May be when someone reads NEW ENGLAND, their mind assumes the reputable new England Journal of Medicine?

I read on. Other vague statements: “recent studies have reached the surprising conclusion,” or ” “over the last 18 months, researchers in an FDA-certified laboratory in New York, have been perfecting how the three safest and most potent herbs to fight anxiety can be combined…”

Which recent studies? Where is the laboratory in New York? The statement FDA certified could be misleading, as in SMALL print there is another statement: “The statements made on this web site have not been evaluated by the FDA. The FDA evaluates ONLY foods and drugs, not supplements, like this product.”

I read on, and come across a “deja vue” statement, from the days when we uncovered another scheme, of the DM Rejuva facial creams and the thousands of people who kept receiving or not receiving the product because ONCE a company has YOUR credit card, they could continue to charge it.

In all honesty, I thought, I’m not going to “jump gun,” and ASSUME this 14-day free trial is not legit.

With that in mind, I searched for consumers’ experiences with “The Risk-free 14-day trial of A2X plus 4 days shipping …”

What do a majority of customers say? You guessed! Not only that it’s not risk free, but according to one report on Amazon, “it’s a farce.” When the customer called, the company stated they cannot issue a refund because of the “possibility of tempering,” meaning they could not re-sell the product. This is all true, but if you know the laws, why advertise risk-free trial of the product?

What you could do to protect yourself:

1.When you decide to purchase ANYTHING, read the small print.

2. Read other people’s reviews on the product.

3. Understand that ONCE a company knows your credit card numbers for the “free offer $4.99 for shipping ONLY,” they will send you the product monthly. You are on “auto-shipment.”

While most companies are okay with unsubscribing you from the automatic shipment, others are not as gracious. Know that you take a risk.

4. If a company tells you that it is okay to stop your medications and buy their supplements, think TWICE, as the effects of stopping medications abruptly are very dangerous.

Happy shopping and thanks for visiting our site.

Rodica Mihalis, M.S.


Paranoid –The truth and Danger of Misdiagnosing Personality Disorders (Part 2- Cluster A)

Paranoid! She is paranoid because she is jealous for no reason! He is always on the look out for someone being after him at work!

Is this enough for a diagnosis of a Cluster A personality disorder, called Paranoia?

Paranoia is one of the three personality disorders under Cluster A (odd, eccentric cluster)

All these personality disorders have in common DETACHMENT.

Many personality disorders overlap, but to meet a diagnostic criteria, they must cause functional impairment in one’s social life as well as subjective distress. In other words, the symptoms are distressing to the person and make their functioning in society difficult.

Paranoid Personality Disorder is characterized by distrust in others. Others are out to get them, humiliate or hurt them. Many times people suffering from this disorder are litigious and would express pathological jealousy. They don’t confide in others and as a result don’t have close relationships. (

Since many personality disorders may co-exist, or paranoia may be present as a result of other conditions, it is essential to make sure the diagnostic meets all criteria.

For instance, paranoia may occur during a psychotic episode, or may be attributable to a substance use disorder ( Such an episode of “paranoia,” does not qualify as a personality disorder.

Other disorders could occur with Paranoia PD:

Schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders, depressive disorder, anxiety, (agorophobia) OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and substance related and addictive disorders.

Diagnosing correctly a personality disorder is essential to really being able to help the person and all criteria must be considered when making a diagnosis, not just a symptom.

Rodica Mihalis, M.S.

Counseling and Clinical Psychology


ANNOUNCEMENT: We Have Moved!!! to www.thenudetruth –If you followed, our NEW site is

Hello Everyone,

Those of you who didn’t have time to read my unfortunate story about  Legalized Cyber Theft, how a domainer “bought” my LEGAL name domain (Rodica Mihalis) and while I was blogging for FREE to help the world, he was making money off of my work,  without my knowledge, please be advised that ALL 440 articles from rodicamihalis have been  TRANSFERRED ON THIS SITE and DELETED  off the old site.

All 440 articles which over a period of  4 years  received over 26, 300 views and  hundreds of followers, and helped thousands better their lives, are NOW available on THIS site, All traffic has been redirected to our new site.

It is my promise to continue and bring you top quality, useful information and to always tell the truth.

Rodica Mihalis, M.S.

Counseling and Clinical Psychology