The Colors of Chronic Pain

Red, black, bright yellow, the marry-go-round in My head! Should I move? Slowly to extend the dull pain or abruptly to feel its sharpness and hope…

Is pain a permanent tennant in my body or a temporary visitor who forgot to leave?

Do I fight it or unknowingly befriend it?

Confusion  seems to be the only certain entity. Confusion, pain and hope as I open my eyes I color reality… Red, as it feels like spikes of burning fire… Black, as I embrace  the  always present darkness of dull pain… Yet, hidden in this maze I sense the rays of sun in its yellow power.

Feel and color. Focus and color. Relax and color. Breathe slowly and color. For as long as we color there is fight and life beyond…

Rodica M.

M.S. Counceling and Clinical Psychology

Life’s Cross-Roads Coaching

Rodica Mihalis on Instagram




Walk In My Shoes… Is It Necessary? Judging or Empathizing?

imageWe know  variations of the old saying, “Walk in my shoes…” but all state the same basic fact: One could not truly understand the depth of another’s  experience until they experience it personally.

A deeper look at, “Walk in my shoes… ”  Is it always necessary? When it is and when it isn’t, and why!

Some, challenge outsiders to walking for a mile or experience at least for a day in order to  understand another’s situation. The question is, for what purpose?  Why? Is the purpose to judge or to empathize?

There is a huge difference between doubting the degree of pain or  emotional distress another is experiencing, or morbid curiosity and the process of empathizing with someone you respect and value.

In my opinion, “judging” another is a negative action implying whether the reality of a person’s situation is true.

“Empathizing,” on the other hand, is a positive effort to understand another whom you value regardless of their situation. It implies willingness, knowledge and effort.

For these reasons I applaud those who empathize with the person experiencing a dire situation directly and feel sorry for those who judge. It is the latter group to whom the saying “walk in my shoes needs to apply.”

This being said, the function of closed support groups is invaluable. Emotional support groups, such as most survivors of suicide loss groups only accept families and friends affected directly by one of life’s major emotional tragedies, including the facilitators.

All support groups to which I belonged in one capacity or another were closed groups and at the time I was convinced anyone who hadn’t been personally affected had no place in the group.

I’m still convinced of the value of personal experiences to truly understand, but is it always the best? How about professionals who spend a life-time studying a topic and helping people without necessarily having gone through it personally?

This is an open question and would love to hear your opinions.


With best wishes,

Rodica M.

M.S. Counseling and Clinical Psychology

(Life’s Cross-Roads Coaching)

What Is Your Truth? A Perception on…Perceptions

I wish I had understood the simple principle of the relativity of “truth,” many years ago.

I wish I had accepted its elusiveness a long time ago, when it would have mattered, but I didn’t,  and lived most of my life believing in absolute truth.

I hope somewhere, in the world, these thoughts might help someone at the beginning of their journey, reflect on this most intricate topic of the relativity of  truth.

My first memory is that of a three-year old girl, held upside down and fighting several adults dressed in white! In my memory, the frail child, of which I am totally detached, managed  to free herself from their grasp. They were trying to hurt her, insert a huge needle in her neck, kill her!

The next memory, is that of the same girl looking out a hospital room window, waiting for the train which ran by every day at Noon, precisely. The little girl’s life revolved around the train and its conductor. He always smiled and waived at her. That image of a stranger who cared, carried the little girl through many hard times.

Over the year, she fantasized about the train’s conductor… was he always waiving to sick kids staring out the hospital window, or was she special? May be he only smiled and waived at her. What was the truth and did it really matter if his kindness only sustained the hope of one girl or many others?

As I grew older,  and became one with the little girl in my memory, a different “truth” emerged, that of my family who told me in great detail how, when I was little I contracted typhoid fever and I was hospitalized for months. My parents told me I was so little and frail, they thought they would loose me, but a team of great doctors and nurses saved my life. When I told my mother that my memory was that of a group of adults dressed in white holding me upside down, trying to stab my next, she smiled! She explained to me, the truth, their truth: These were the doctors and nurses, holding me upside down, trying to draw blood from a vein in my neck because they couldn’t take it from my arm! They were my saviors, not my enemies, who over the years showed up in my nightmares!

My being alive was a testament that their “truth” was the “truth.” Mine, was a child’s perception, which doesn’t make it wrong, or less important. It just makes it different.

Since, I questioned my next memory, that of the friendly train conductor… Did he exist? Was there a train passing by at Noon? Was this a dream my imagination made up to keep me hoping? Since it saved my life, did it really matter? A defense mechanism which worked or reality? Who cares?

As I look back and reflect on life and the many events I remember, I question each and wonder, which was true, which were  wrong perceptions which mattered to the course of my life? Are they all perceptions that matter? Is  there an absolute truth?

As you walk on the road of life on your unique journey, when you come at an intersection, ask yourself: Would it make a difference if I turn right, left or continue straight ahead?


Please feel free to share your  unique journey and truth.

Rodica M.

M.S. Counseling and Clinical Psychology

Life’s Cross-Roads Coaching

What is your truth?

What is your truth?


Buyer Beware Part III- The Alluracell Skin Care- RejuvSkin/Epicflow-LLSDeluxeeye-Advance Vitamin C– Is There a Connection???



imageIf you were interested  and were helped by the information in the Buyer Beware articles published in August, 2013,  and all the valuable hundreds of comments, you might be interested in reading this article on  is there a connection between Alluracell  skin care “trial” and Rejuv—?  and possibly all the other “free trials” above?

Same “FREE TRIAL,” that costs you money over and over again? Same scam, different names? Read on and you be the judge…

On December 17, 2015, you guessed, right before Christmas, next to my Facebook page several advertisements popped up. I generally ignore them, but when it comes to skin care, I must confess, I have a weakness, rooted not only in vanity but also in the fact that I am an esthetician and as part of this blog I write a post in which I share free   information in the field.

The skin care line advertised was Alluracell!

Three products, all in elegant, professional containers. The Alluracell Skin Restore was a “trial,” shipping and handling ONLY: $ 4.97.

The second product, Alluracell Eye Restore, was also a “trial,” at $5.97.

The third product, Alluracell Vitamin C Gel was offered at a discount for $34.97.

Please note the name: ALLURACELL was written on all the containers.


Not until I  checked my credit card statement and noticed I was charged by three different companies and worse, 14 days after the three charges, none by the name of Alluracell, I was charged AGAIN.

The charge of 89.97  to my credit card was by Epicflw/REJUVSKIN! I complained to my credit card company on time to stop a second “Alluracell” charge to go through, under a name other than Alluracell!  

After by credit card inquired  EpicFlow/REJUVSkin about the unauthorised charge of 89.87 they promptly refunded my card. I am still unclear if  this is the same REJUVA involved with the unfortunate events of 2013? 

What is different in 2016 and how things improved:

 Following the call from my credit card company the “free trial” company called “EpicFlow/Rejuvskin promptly refunded my card. While I was not notified before they charged me $89.97, after my credit card called, I received an email, informing me of the refund and asking:



Thanks to the prompt help of my credit card company, no other unauthorized charges were made, but one was attempted!

Do I have questions? YES, I DO and NO I will not ask you in private:

  1. I purchased three products from Alluracell. Why there are three different companies involved?
  2. None of the charges on my card were made by Alluracell but by three different companies, under different names. Why? One is located in California (EpicFlw/REJUVSKIN.) TWO are in Nevada (LLS DeluxeEye) and Advance Vitamin C. NONE is Alluracell!!!
  3. Nowhere, that I could find, it is disclosed that unauthorized charges will be made by ALL these  three companies after 14 days, or ever!  
  4.  Why does each product have a different customer service telephone number?
  5.  Why is the print on the containers written in small print on transparent container and impossible to read?  
  6.   Did YOU purchase any of these products? Please share your experiences to help others!