The Many Faces of Discrimination

I’m yet to meet someone who openly admits to discriminate against a person or a specific group of people.  As our culture  evolved, less and less groups may be discriminated against and a new expression was born: “Politically correct.”

Politically correct, doesn’t mean discrimination disappeared overnight or  slowly. Perhaps, it only means  it is “whispered about,” instead of “screamed out loud!”

In a country like ours, also known as “the melting pot,” the concept of discrimination should logically not even exit.  Unless one is Native American, we, or our ancestors, came here from elsewhere, for some reason, at one time or another. Yet, more than ever, the topic of discrimination is passionately debated, to admit the least.

As a first generation immigrant, I often wondered what’s “the big deal?”  I am still debating in my own mind, and decided to write about it in hopes by the time I am finished writing this post, “clarity,” or at least more understanding of the true roots of this serious issue, would become more obvious.

Who are those discriminated against?

Legally, in our culture we make a written statement on all documents that there is NO discrimination based on age, race, sexual preference, sex, disability, etc.

However, daily we hear news and  watch images of violence directed against certain groups just because they don’t conform to certain norms of acceptable. Often, we know or hear about people who were not hired because of their age or a disability, or were fired just as they were about to reach the age to qualify for certain benefits or retirement.

If life were as generous with you, as it were with me, you might even have known a person who was secretly going through the process of changing their gender. People who presented themselves as men for their 9 AM- 5 PM jobs and transformed themselves in ladies to go out of the house after dark for fear the neighbors would discover their secret.

Recently, I watched “The Imitation Game,” a historical thriller starring  Benedict Cumberbatch in the role of Alan Turing, the cryptananalyst whose work, and his team’s, during  World War II saved the lives of approximately 14 million people. Alan Turing was gay  when in England to be gay was still considered  a crime. He was given the choice to either go to prison or subject himself to hormonal therapy. He chose the latter and after a year completed suicide…His work saved the lives of millions, but no one saved his!

Volumes could be written about racial discrimination, disability, gender, but I am not aware of much having been discussed about  discrimination against a white,  educated   woman  who legally  immigrated from Europe to the United States. No one, to the best of my knowledge even thinks of such a possibility! One might be tempted to think such a person is privileged.

I might have never thought discrimination against such a person existed but I am  one of these people and my experiences of a life-time are factual.

I remember, when I was successful at my first job, which involved public speaking, and although bilingual, I have an accent, my boss’ remark was:

“When I hired you and your accent, I gambled! I thought, if the audience likes ‘IT” (my accent and me!!!) that’s great! If not, I’ll fire her!”

When a few years later I told him I was expecting a baby, he said:

” Well, that teaches me a lesson, never to hire women of child-bearing age!”

One might consider these comments insignificant, perhaps I was too sensitive, and may be compared to the horrific way other groups and people are discriminated against, what has happened to me throughout my life, pales. Not so with the event which triggered my intense thoughts about discrimination. Here is the story:

My neighbor rushed me in the E.R. of a major hospital.  The first reaction of a medical professional working in the triage  where I was rushed was to tell my neighbor,

“May be she speaks like this because she is not from here.”

He assured this medical professional I did know English  and that was not the way I spoke when I didn’t have a stroke!

The neurologist arrived in time and the miracle drug hPA was given to me. A drug which completely reversed my symptoms ONLY  BECAUSE IT WAS GIVEN within an hour from the start of the stroke’s symptoms!

In other words, if my friend was not there to speak up for me, I could have been misdiagnosed and in the best case scenario died, in the worst, become a vegetable, in a nursing home, for the rest of my life!






A combination

Has anyone thought that an European, educated woman, could have lost her life because she had an accent and someone, in the triage of an ER was BLINDED by their habit to discriminate to such a degree that  the symptoms of a stroke could have been missed?

As I  hoped,, I gained some clarity on  this topic:

I conclude that in truth, discrimination is not about the people or the groups discriminated against, but about those who have so little education, such huge egos and narrowness of minds to not understand that the world doesn’t start and end with them and their values.

As the story illustrated,  anyone could be discriminated against! It could be anyone, anywhere!  Be proud of who you are and live your lives with purpose and in peace!

Rodica M.








Why Death Brings Us Closer To Life and GOD!

  1. imageimagePopular wisdom has it that we could not truly understand an event which we didn’t personally experience. While this truth is debatable, if one wishes to question it, one could. I belong to the group which is in agreement. The reason is simple: I know first hand  that experiencing something on a personal level made me a  better prepared listener and overall helper.

An example:

As a confused young mother I went to consult a psychologist. The first question I asked him was, “Do you have children?”  At the time, I didn’t have a Master’s in Clinical Psychology and didn’t know  there were many “schools of thought,” one of which was Freudian, and one of its basic principles was for the therapist to act detached, as a “blank wall.” When he refused to answer, I simply stood up and left the room.

Looking back from the perspective of a ature woman who raised two children and chose to try and understand the winding path of the human mind for as long as I could remember, I  admit  my first  “qualifying” question should have been, “Have you helped other parents with this type of issues,” or, ” Have you had specialized training in this area?”

Why didn’t I ask those questions? I could come up with many answers but the truth is parenting two children, twenty two months apart, had nothing to do with logic and a lot to do with emotions and the need to be validated, understood and  reassured that what I FELT was “normal.”  I was not the only  mother to feel  confused after a sleepless night,  that the focus of my universe  shifted from ME to THEM, my daughters, and no matter how much I wished to  shift it back to what it  used to be, that was unlikely to happen! Little by little, with the help of  my mothers’ neighborhood support group, we, together re-balanced our lives to fit the needs of our newly created “Suns” and “Stars.”

If you are still reading this article, you might ask yourself, where is she going with this…the title suggests death bringing us closer to life, not thoughts on motherhood!

If that’s what you are thinking, you couldn’t be closer to the truth, yet further from it!

They say, we are our thoughts but let’s explore what happens when what we take for granted, our capacity to think clearly, vanishes!!!

Close your eyes, take a deep breathe in and an even deeper breathe out and imagine… your brain as a shinny golden bubble, inside,  there are small drawers and by God’s design, we know which drawer to open  when and let out the right letters which instinctively know how to form the right words to take the correct actions at the most appropriate time.

Let’s go back to “what is the connection between motherhood and the title:

I chose the task of mothering as an example, because in my experience, there is no other more complex task in the world and it involves opening and closing so many drawers, I am in awe of all the millions of mothers who manage to juggle lives keeping some kind of order in their unique “bubbles,” as the balance of their Universe changed forever from “ME to THEM!

To accomplish this most difficult task of  motherhood, our brain, our “bubble,” must be kept functional.

Now imagine, without a cautionary sign, the very mechanism which controls our actions,  is shuttered! It happens so fast, you don’t know it is happening. Your “control panel,” doesn’t age slowly, it doesn’t change from gold to silver or cooper or rusts…It’s not one drawer which refuses to open, or some open, some don’t or they open half-way letting out meaningless crumbs.

In that moment, my world exploded! NO brain, no thoughts, only a billion pieces of particles, letters which desperately tried to get together and form words, meaning, to communicate! Instead, they floated around disoriented, unable to make a decision: Which way to look? 

I was having a stroke!

I sat at the edge of reality not certain whether I should look down, in the sewer or up to the stars.

The sewer was closer, I could smell the odor of my own human despair and there was no fear, as I had no thoughts and all was instinct.

I was on the edge and my comfort zone was to let go and dive in the unknown, walk on the shifting sands and sink deeper and deeper until I were no more…

In that crucial moment, it wasn’t my brain, as there was none, that ordered me to look up and  TRUST!

God was not done with me in this dimension, we call life! I didn’t THINK IT, I KNEW IT!

I trusted, looked up where GOD told me to look and live to tell  how it feels to have a stroke and  I ask you to trust in God and always look up!

Author’s note:

This is a true story.

On September 19, 2016 I had a stroke. They say, when it comes to strokes, “TIME IS BRAIN!”  My symptoms started as I was driving down a familiar road and I wondered why, at 2:30 PM on a Monday, there were so many bad drivers on the road. I barely drove myself home but when I tried to get out of the car, I fell. My neighbors and friends ran towards me and I attempted to tell them I needed help but although in my rapidly deteriorating “bubble,” words were forming, they didn’t come out, just sounds of despair.  They were enough and my neighbor took me to the hospital which was 5-minutes away from y home.  The right side of my face was already paralyzed. I WAS BROUGHT INTO THE Emergency Room 20 minutes from when my symptoms started. Because of the timely arrival, the doctors were able to use a clot buster called tPA.  Following the procedure I was in Intensive care for three days. 


I hope if you read this article to the end, you see the connection and why



TO VOTE OR NOT TO VOTE!!!! This IS the Question! USA Elections, 2016 fast approaching!

I’ll put it upfront:

There is still  time to register online and vote in this historic election!


GO right NOW to:  (or the state you reside in) and register by  Tuesday, October 11, 2016!

Elections are on  TUESDAY, November 8, 2016!

Why should we ALL vote and why not voting does NOT give you the right to complain whoever you wanted in the office lost!

YES! LOST BECAUSE OF YOU and everyone who doesn’t understand that by not expressing our opinion and right to vote, we actually  support whom we might not want in the office! 

Reasons not to vote:

I don’t like either! (neither do I, but pick the lesser bad!)

I don’t trust them! (Neither do I but pick the one less dangerous!)

She seems “fake” (She is! )

He might press the button and start the Third World War! (Would a Third Nuclear War option better than “she is fake”)

He is a businessman who didn’t seem to have paid federal income for 18 years and IS PROUD OF IT!!! Which makes everyone else who did pay an idiot?

She didn’t leave her husband when he cheated on her! (Let’s be serious and move on! Stale news!)

He married three times and at least wife number 1 and number 3 are beauties from Europe with sexy accents and perfect bodies. However  he wants to build a WALL between the USA and Mexico to keep foreigners out??? As IF NO one ever thought of TUNNELS!!! As if we are not a country of immigrants!

He thinks he knows more about ISIS than our Generals. (Good luck with our foreign policy!)

She had her share of mistakes and didn’t use the email system as she should have. This is bad, but how bad compared with Trump’s statement” “WOULDN’T BE NICE TO GET ALONG WITH THE RUSSIANS!!!  And his admiration for PUTIN who “admires Trump! Really, wasn’t Putin head of the famous KGB? They would say anything to flatter you and get what they want!

Well, Mr. Trump these statements alone show you understand NOTHING about how Russians think and their actions and how FAST they “liberate neighboring nations!”

I LIVED in one of these “liberated nations!” I was forced to learn Russian. I could NOT travel outside of Romania and had to defect to FREEDOM to express MY OPINIONS and I DO because I paid for these freedoms so many take for granted!

You, Mr. Trump would like to NOT invest in NATO?

IT IS NATO keeping the Russians in check!  In short, your understanding of foreign policy is ZERO!!!! It is dangerous!

I  asked recently on a Linkedin conversation,  about unnecessary shootings, why the cop didn’t shoot in the leg and NOT to KILL? First, I was told, “they” are instructed to NOT shoot in limbs.”

Should I understand the Police is instructed to shoot to kill? I doubt! Then, just because I asked the question, a man accused me of being a LIBERAL!!! As if being anything but a hard-core Conservative is CRIMINAL!!!

We are a FREE country, Mister!!! I do not attack you for your believes, do not attack me! Let’s just have RESPECT for our freedoms of thinking and expressing our thoughts!

Until that moment I never thought of my self as a Liberal or Conservative, but a PERSON WITH HER OWN JUDGEMENT!!! I still DO and am proud of it because I use MY BRAIN not others!

I still consider myself just a normal, at times confused person, who tries to UNDERSTAND and CHOOSE THE BETTER OF THE TWO CANDIDATES!




If you don’t… don’t complain!