How do you define friendship?
Are your friends the people you invite to your home for drinks and dinner and to reciprocate they invite you back?
Are they those you go out with on vacations and split the costs? Even at times it’s all on you, or on them, knowing the gesture will be reciprocated because everyone in your circle of friends has equal means?
Who are your friends and beyond having “fun” together, have you tested the depth of your relationship?
My concept of friendship and its true meaning was defined early on. It wasn’t even about my friend, so thankfully the hurt was indirect, yet, still there, as a reminder…
When I was about ten years old, my father, a violent, active alcoholic, came home late at night and hit my mother. We barely escaped his violence and made it to a public phone, as in those times the world had not even dreamed of cell phones. It was dangerous to return home and mother called her best friend. The phone rang, and rang and her sleepy friend picked up at last. I saw my mother crying, trying to explain between sobs what has happened. Then there was silence. My mother was listening to her friend. In my mind of a ten-year old I knew we needed help. We needed shelter for the night and I was certain, my Mother’s friend would offer it. After all, I thought, we spent holidays together, even lovely vacations on the Black Sea…
My mother hang up the phone: ” Coca,” Mom explained, “was asleep… it is so late, she said to never call so late, under any circumstances!”
She took my hand and held it tight. We walked slowly in the night, as slowly as possible, awaiting the sun raise and light in our lives!
In those moments, walking through the dark, hoping for light, I sworn never to allow such people into my life. I made the decision to always be there for those I call friends but always to travel a two way street.
If you are committed to someone 24/7 unconditionally, the relationship must be reciprocated to be called a friendship. Otherwise, one is the “giver,” the other, “the taker.”
However, true friendship is a fine line to walk on a journey as long and complex as life…
Many times a friend falls off the social or financial status which brought you together in the beginning. Do you abandon your friend, or she, you?
Misfortunes, illnesses, financial disaster or both, as one could, and does trigger the other, might happen to anyone when you least expect it.
Are you ready to be there for your friend and is your friend ready and willing to help you unconditionally?
The TEST of true friendship could be called THE MID-NIGHT Test!
Are you and your friend willing to help each other if one of you needs help when is inconvenient for the other and no pay back is expected?
Please share your opinions and experiences concerning true friendships, so that we all learn.
Always remember, if you need emotional support about a difficult situation in your life, feel free to contact me.