Easy Weekend Dessert! Flexible and Yummy!

Easy Dessert!

No-bake Eclair Cake on Chef-in-Training (www.chef-in-training.com) was the triggered for my decision to increase my blood sugar levels and enjoy  this fantastic desert twice in a week!  Why? Because chocolate-type deserts increase other types of necessary “levels,” we all need. Belated  Happy Valentine’s, but in all honesty, chocolate is applicable year around in my book of pleasures!

As always, I had some of the ingredients, but not all, or I had what was not mentioned in the initial recipe, but I thought something else would taste better… or different.

This is why I love cooking/baking and hate house-cleaning. There is no imagination to how you clean a house.  Top to bottom! You do or don’t!  I don’t.

Okay… back to the no-bake eclair cake.

It requires:

Grahm crackers (or similar sweet crackers, if you find less expensive ones, I assure you, they will not jump out of the pan to complain)

2 large packets of vanilla pudding (dry)

2-3 cups milk or as much as it requires for a good consistency of vanilla pudding. It thickens in 5 minutes.

Add to the vanilla pudding 2 Tbsp. hazelnut spread (optional but yummy) and

One container of Cool Whip (found in the refrigeration section, with the ice creams, not where my faulty logic sent me, with the heavy cream, etc)

For frosting:

Butter (3-4 Tbsp) mixed with 1 Tbs brown sugar) -microwave to mix well, add 2-3 Tbs of cocoa and a Tbsp. of hazelnut spread) Mix all well and set aside.

Layer the Grahm crackers in a pan. I’d put two layers of crackers.


Pour half the mixture of dry vanilla pudding with the milk, the hazelnut spread and the cool whip  on top of the layered grahm crackers and top with another layer of crackers. On top of it,  pour the rest of the vanilla pudding mix/cool whip etc.

At this point we may use our imagination:

Put a lawyer of a fresh fruit (any would do, that you like, but probably not a fruit that has a high content of water and gets mushy fast)  You could add a type of jam too, or nuts.

I opted to mix some fruit jam (I like peach or any berry type) in the cocoa frosting and spread on top of the last layer of crackers. If I had walnuts, I’d have definitely use them too.

Why not try other types of dry pudding mixes other then vanilla?

This dessert does not require baking, but it is at it’s best if refrigerated overnight. Trust me! I know, as mine sat overnight and now I’m going to dive into it for…lunch!

Thank you Chef in Training and our imagination!

Wishing everyone a sweet weekend!



In Response to Today’s Comment Regarding Identity Theft and China

Identity theft, plagiarism, hacking bloggers’ hard work and making money off of it!

I received hundreds of comments after the fantastic Word Press system protected me from over 30,000 spam comments! Thank you.

Some comments are written in such poor English that I simply don’t understand. I’m a foreigner too, but I learned English because I really wanted to be understood.

Other comments are simply advertising for someone’s products. If you sell sex toys, I am NOT going to  post your comment which clearly shows you did NOT read the post. You saw that 533 people READ the post in one day and your computer “kicked in” TRAFFIC!!! Let’s comment. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way on this blog.

If one comment tells me my blog loads fast and I MUST buy whatever, and the next says it loads fast, I will go with the second comment, especially if it’s not selling me anything.

Then, there are the REAL comments, the ones I appreciate and post and to which I answer and for which I am grateful.

The one which I received today, was one of the comments I value.

The person who commented on one of the schemes I exposed, was bringing to our attention that many identity thieves and hackers originate in China.

If you think this is true, my only suggestion is, do NOT purchase anything which is so inexpensive, it’s too good to be true. It probably is. Also, make sure where the item ships from. If you do not know from where the item ships, do not buy it.

I had a personal experience, which I will share, but do not want to point fingers, as it could have been a coincidence.

A while ago, I saw an advertising for a jacket. Wow! I said to myself, what a deal! I bought it on the web site of that particular seller (which meanwhile disappeared) and after ten days I received the idem shipped from China!  I was amazed at my good luck!

A few weeks later, I received a call from my bank. Someone was trying to use my card!!!

For once, being poor came in hand. I only had $30.00 in my account, as it was the end of the month:) so, the hackers could not buy anything.

After the event I thought… hmm… perhaps the item was so cheap, so that people, deals seekers like me, buy it, when the real PURPOSE is  for the seller to get our credit card information!  In my case, it was a debit card and I was broke. Sorry, hackers.

Because there is such a need to expose the truth, and so many of us have unpleasant experiences, we are in the process of building a new site, THE NUDE TRUTH- Where life is stripped of lies and the truth revealed! I will continue to blog  on the same topics as now, and MORE!

I’ll keep you posted. Thank you for continuing to read and comment. I really appreciate, as power is in the numbers… and HONESTY!!!

How Difficult Is It To Do Nothing and Why! The Importance of Relaxation and Siesta

Relax! It’s  Saturday morning, it’s cold and surprise: IT’S SNOWING…

To mind, comes a Facebook share: ‘Who is praying for snow, please stop!’

One would think, on a day like this, and on the weekend, it would be easy to just… do nothing!

What does “nothing” mean? What is the definition of doing nothing?

On a more thorough analysis, doing nothing means different things for different people.

Does taking a nap at 2:00 PM qualify as doing nothing? May be for people who live by the rules of some countries (such as the USA and most European countries.)

But how about the Spanish.  “siesta?”

Several years ago, we visited Spain and at 2:00 PM we were inside a store, actually shopping, not just looking. Why do I stress: shopping? Because it meant we were about to bring our small contribution to the prosperity of that specific store. Yet, when the clock stroke 2:00 PM, all shoppers had to leave the store. It was  time for”siesta!”  On a superficial  level, taking a nap may look like doing nothing, but reality is, resting requires discipline and  awareness of the importance of resting our minds and bodies with the goal of functioning better in our awake states.  What may look on the surface as doing nothing is, in fact, a much needed activity:

Resting and bringing clarity to our thoughts.

Much has been said about relaxation, which requires a “letting go” of  our thoughts, of worries and to empty our minds,or  focusing on a “mantra,”  on one word and repeating it in our minds, over and over again.

Easy, one might say. But is it, for someone who has been programmed to always do something which brings visible results.

What might happen in the mind of a person whose definition of being successful is “doing?” When, while we practice relaxation, or try to nap,  according to our education, the way we have been “programmed,”  these activities look like doing nothing, as the results are not immediately visible?  I don’t know about your minds, but I could share what happened in my mind for a long time, until I re-programmed  it and learned a new skill:

The art of doing nothing!

At first, my mind jumped from one worry to another!  Are my daughters okay, thousands of miles away? Was a a good Mom? or… Was the door locked? Did I take my vitamins? Was my doctor appointment tomorrow… hmm why  didn’t they call to confirm… now I’ll be charged $30 for missing it! On, and on and on… the roller coaster of thoughts while  trying to”doing nothing!” Then the guilt: I wasn’t even good enough at doing nothing! How pathetic!

We have been conditioned that “doing” is what results in success, and furthermore, “doing nothing,” not only has no value, but feels strange… as if we do something which is against rules… and, let’s tell it as it is, sends us on guilt trips! Or is it just me?  It took  practice to unlearn and  feel and accept at an unconscious level what I knew in my conscious mind:

The importance of sleep and relaxation for the overall good functioning of the mind and body.

In conclusion, because we have been programmed that the so called “doing nothing” is not necessary, it is many time considered “lazy,” even if in the 21st Century we know how positive and important sleep and relaxation are, it will take time to learn this new skill. The skill of doing nothing, so we function at our best!


Deer In The Light

Hunters, whose mission is to kill.

I follow the light with blind hope.

I run in faith to my own death,

Trusting it is best .

Mesmorized by light,

I stop and wait to be shot.

I thank the Maker of Light for deceiving me,

For ending the lies, at last!

Peace and darkness envelope my

Troubled, pained soul.

Emptiness feels at its fullest,

The whole of me floats

In the meaning of meaninglessness,

The only worthy place in the mist of

All questionings.


I wake up and look in the mirror of nightmares!

I  walk deeper

Into the forest of hope.

Looking at the stars,

I trip on fallen trees,

Struck by lightening,

Sometime in the confusion of time .


I often revisit the moment when I woke up,

Confrunted the dream, and chose to GET UP

and continue the fight!

They shoot deer,

A deer has no choice…

I keep telling myself I do,

As I  fall and get up,

Again and again,

and continue to run towards the light…


Empathy!!! Is It Good, Bad, or both?

Empathy and our culture! 

Are we trained to be empathetic? Is this a a feature which will help one to be successful in a world obsessed by the greed for money and plagued by competition?

What inspired today’s post was a quote I received on my Facebook news feed from a site I follow, Sustainable Human. A quote by Neil DeGrasse Tyson Film for Action photo

Here is part of what he said and made me think at a deeper level,as on the same day, I experienced a doctor’s un-empathetic attitude:

Humans are not as good as we should be to empathize with feelings and thoughts of others, be they humans or other animals………. So may be part  of our formal education should be empathy… reading, writing, EMPATHY!

Beautifully said, and so necessary to do in a world in which we lock ourselves behind closed doors in front of laptops and smart phones, having the illusion we communicate with so many!

Our  culture trains people to be individualistic  and competitive rather than empathetic. However, according to Psychology Today, scientists have discovered the existence of “mirror neurons,” which react to emotions expressed by others and reproduce themselves. Why I find this significant? If our brains have these neurons and they have the capacity to reproduce themselves on “contact” with other’s emotions, what happens when there is NO CONTACT? My personal conclusion is that these neurons do not develop as nature intended, and if they don’t, what would happen in the long run?

I am not against social media and communicating through various internet venues, however, I do believe that the face-to-face human contact  and communication need to be maintained and treasured. There is nothing more powerful then the good human touch, or a cry on a friend’s shoulder instead of touching a screen.

Let’s define empathy! 

Empathy is the experience of understanding another person’s condition from their perspective. You place yourself in their shoes and feel what they feel. Empathy is known to increase prosocial (helping) behaviors. (https://www.psychologytoday.combasics/empathy)

Holding a M.S.in Counseling and Clinical Psychology and loving research, I continued my “digging” into the meaning of empathy. I came across an excellent article, by Ronald Riggio, PhD. entitled: Are You Empathetic? published in Cutting Edge Leadership, 08/03/11.

His article completes the basic definition given in Psychology Today, by describing three types of empathy.

The first type is cognitive, perspective taking, one who is able to see things from another’s point of view.

The second type is a “personal distress” type empathy, which means someone literally FEELS another’s pain, distress, any emotions.

This second type of empathy could be good or not so good.

Riggio, gives the example of President Clinton’s quote: “I feel your pain.”

Did he really feel everyone’s pain? You be the judge, however it was a brilliant way to relate to his constituents.

The example of watching a movie and becoming one with an actor is also given. Feeling their anger, sadness, fear, love! We are one with the character.

Too much feeling of another’s emotion may not be good for us and leads to our own distress.

In real life, these types of empathy are intermingled and they are parts of one’s personality.

People with a high level of “perspective empathy,” who is good of understanding other’s point of view without getting emotionally involved, would in my opinion,make a great doctor!

This brings me to what triggered this post in the first place, my experience with an un-empathetic doctor.

I went to see him because of insomnia. He was a young resident and seemed to listen to my complaints and how important sleep was to me, and everyone! To my shock, in the end, he turned to me, looked me in the eyes, and said:

“If you were my mother, and told me you can’t sleep, I would say, DON’T SLEEP! I would not prescribe you any medications!”

What had just happen? Was this an example of the opposite of empathy? In my tired mind it sure was! But he said, “if you were my mother…” which may on a superficial level indicate empathy of both types… or was it like President Clinton’s famous quote, “I feel your pain?” The second part of his statement, “I’d tell her if you can’t sleep, then don’t, and I will not give her any medications,” showed the opposite of the empathetic beginning of his speech. I was confused… does he love his mom? Does he hate his Mom? Do I trigger something in him to remind bad things about his Mom? Clearly, they couldn’t be good, since the essence of the statement was, I will not help you!

So… the WHY of this strange and disturbing experience will remain suspended, but not the actions I am going to take to protect myself. The action? Yes, we, as patients, need to know our rights as well as our bodies and minds. I will change doctors. There is no such thing as staying with a doctor or therapist if there is no true alliance, true empathy and understanding of where YOU come from.

I shared this experience because it had a deep impact on me and my mood and because I 100_0502hope others will learn from my negative experience with this doctor and if anything similar happens to them, CHANGE THE DOCTOR!!! In my opinion, all professionals in the helping profession must have the type one empathy. A must quality for a good doctor.

There are still doctors who go in this wonderful profession and empathize. Find them!

Rodica Mihalis, MS. Counseling and Clinical Psychology